Nearing the Finish Line :)

Okay where to start? In February 2012 I was ready to release the information that I had tested positive for the BRCA 2 gene mutation.  That did the trick because a month later I finally received a call from Winnipeg that they I could come for a consult with Dr B in May.  However they said if I was considering a hysterectomy I needed to do that first.  With the gene mutation I have an increased risk of developing ovarian cancer and being on Tamoxifen** increases the uterine cancer risk.  I wasn't sure if I was prepared to go that extreme but I really wanted to get a professional opinion.  I tried in Feb, March, April, May and finally got an appointment with my family doctor in June to talk to him about it. Since I didn't have that kind of time, I called Dr H in April and tried to see him but his secretary wouldn't let me!! She did at least have him call me the next day and he said yes he thought it was a good idea for me to consider this and referred me to a gynecologist - Dr E.  She was amazing and worked really hard to fit me in quickly first for the consult and then the surgery - we decided just an oophorectomy (ovaries and tubes) was the best option for me.  I had the surgery in June and then got to have my consult in Winnipeg in August.

For the consult they showed us photos of exactly what they do in surgery.  They would be doing a right prophylactic mastectomy, bilateral reconstruction with right DIEP and left SIEA free flaps.  You can google that if you like rather than me trying to explain it. Dr B told me their goal is to make me look good in clothes - perfect, that's all I want.  I was thinking this was going to be happening soon but no they said it could still take up to a year for me to get the surgery.  They are still overwhelmed with active cancer surgeries and they fit people like me in when they can.  So back home I go and wait and wait and wait.

The call finally came in late May that I had a surgery date Monday June 3, 2013. (In October it will be 4 years since I was referred to the first plastic surgeon - that is a long wait!)  I had to be in Winnipeg on the Friday before for a appointment with the anesthetist.  When I told him I was a little nervous as this was the biggest surgery I've ever had he said this wasn't considered a big surgery!  Hindsight tells me I should have said "You try it!" The nice thing about the Health Sciences Centre is that there is a hostel (Lennox Bell Lodge) attached to it (along with a host of other services) with a series of underground tunnels.  We stayed there the Thursday night and then Murray stayed there while I was in hospital and we had to stay for a week after I was released.  Since it's only about 2 1/2 hours drive, we went to Kenora, Ont to visit my aunt for the week end. I hadn't seen her in about 7 years and we had such a nice visit with her.

On the day of surgery I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m.  After admitting they got me into a hospital gown and started the IV.  A resident came in a drew all over me with black permanent marker (just like they do on Nip Tuck!)  The doctor came in after that and did some revisions on the drawing.  By 7:30 sharp I was on the operating table and it was lights out. The resident that called Murray after said it took 7 hours and it was textbook.

The first thing I remember is that whoever moved me and my bed into my room was not as good of driver as the ones who have done it for me in Saskatoon.  Man they were swaying all over the place and banging into everything!  I was nauseous from it!  They checked me with a little hand held ultrasound machine every hour for the first 24 hours to make sure there was proper blood flow in the tissue.  I had to stay in bed for that first 24 hours.  On day two they got me up into a chair for about 20 minutes and then day 3 they got me up to the bathroom.  After that I finally got rid of the catheter.  I didn't realize how completely helpless I would be for the first 2 weeks.  I couldn't get out of bed without help or bend over to pick anything up off the floor.  I could barely walk as I had to do the grandma walk and stay hunched over.  This put a lot of strain on my lower back so that is what hurt the most.  I could feed myself but even just cutting things up on my plate took effort.  I also didn't know that I would have to sleep sitting up propped up with pillows for 4 weeks.  I like to sleep all over the place, on my back, sides, front so sleeping isn't enjoyable right now.  It would have been nice to have a little more realistic warning of what to expect for recovery.  I could have psyched myself up for it.

The food in the hospital was the worst I have ever had.  Everything was processed and microwaved.  I really don't know how anyone can heal eating that!  I also had to give up all caffeine for 3 weeks after surgery including chocolate.  That was hard for me.

We were  really fortunate to get a wheelchair accessible room at the lodge.  Simply because there was a lot more room in there and the best part was the big shower with a chair that I could sit on. No way could I have stood up long enough to shower.

The drive home was long as Winnipeg is about 10 hours from here.  They said we should stop to let me walk around every hour so that made it even longer.  This was to prevent blood clots in my legs.  One good thing is that I now have a plastic surgeon who will look do all my after care in Saskatoon - Dr C.  I saw her two weeks after surgery.  Apparently there are revisions that I can have done if I choose.  I thought this was a one time surgery but she told me that we won't know exactly what I have until the swelling goes down and things settle into place which takes about 3 months.  The side they did the mastectomy and immediate reconstruction on is way more swollen and so I feel like Marilyn Monroe on that side and Twiggy on the other :(  Anyway she said she can make me look really good and all the revisions would be day surgery.  I will see how I feel when the time comes.

I am at 3 weeks post surgery and things have improved a lot.  Most of the scabs have fallen off.  I will have to wear a compression binder around my middle for 3 more weeks and a special bra day and night for 3 months.  I have had a few spots of infection starting but I have been able to fix that up with tea tree essential oil. 

I am now waiting for the day that I can get out there and work in my garden.

**I decided to go off the Tamoxifen in October 2012.  I was just tired of the side effects like Charlie horses all over my body not just the legs), hot flashes, weight gain, thin hair and I also suspected it was causing my migraines.

Life goes on

I'm afraid I have been neglecting my blog. I didn't really mean to but I haven't had a whole lot to blog about. I am still waiting to hear from the plastic surgeon in Winnipeg. Ridiculous I know but such is the way of our healthcare system and doctor shortage. They tell me that they are overwhelmed with active cancer surgeries and of course those take precedence over reconstruction. In the mean time I am keeping busy enjoying life - and that's a good thing!

Still in Limbo

Well so far I have seen two plastic surgeons and I still don't know what or when this is going to happen. The first one was Dr. Z. and he told me that he only does implants and that he doesn't recommend that for me. I don't have all the muscle structure to hold them in place because of the mastectomy so the one could end up on my shoulder or under my arm. Hmmm don't think I want them there.... That was in June. Then I had to wait for him to send his findings to Dr. H. and then for Dr. H. to refer me to someone else which turned out to be Dr. C. I finally got to see him last week. He said that since I need bilateral reconstruction and if I want to use the tummy tissue, I need to go to Winnipeg. Apparently this surgery takes 2 plastic surgeons 6 hours and while they could do it in Saskatoon, they don't really have the man power. He would do it if it was just one side or if I opted to use the skin from my back and then spacers. A spacer is an implant that Dr. Z already said I shouldn't use and this guy agreed with that so I am a little confused about that. So now I wait some more until Dr B in Winnipeg sends me a letter with an appointment.

I did get my port taken out last week when I was in Saskatoon. Just 2 more sleeps and I get the stitches out. I can't wait!

Yippyyippyyippy Yahoo!!!

I am done! I had my last Herceptin treatment today and it feels great! I have a friend that works at the hospital and she has been bringing me coffee the last few times I've had treatments. Today she also brought some very decadent chocolate cheesecake to celebrate my last treatment. It was so good! I got a hug from the nurse who hooked me up too :)

I really didn't have side effects from the Herceptin except some weight gain. I gained about a pound or two every 3 weeks and 4 pounds this last time but then I haven't been to the gym much in the last 3 weeks either. There has just been too much going on this summer and I am enjoying every minute of it as I have all of last summer to make up for.

Next week I have an appointment for my yearly mammogram and I will also see the oncologist for my 3 month follow up. I will be able to ask him to set up an appointment for me to get rid of this port.

I saw the plastic surgeon in June and it turns out that he is the wrong one for me. He only does implants and he thinks I will be happier if they use my own tissue for reconstruction. I don't have all the muscles needed to hold the implants in place any more. So I had to wait for him to write Dr. H and then for Dr. H to refer me to someone else and then for that doctor to schedule me in for an appointment. Now I am seeing Dr. C for a consultation on October 20. Waiting, waiting all this waiting!

New Oncologist and Plastic Surgeon

I met my new oncologist last Thursday. He had a resident with him who came in first to examine me and he asked me a few questions and answered mine. Then he came back with Dr S. He didn't do much since the other guy did everything already anyway. Everything checks out, my bloodwork and last heart scan were all good. He wrote me another prescription for the Tamoxifen and he did tell me that my last Herceptin treatment will be on July 29. I thought it was going to be the end of June but I guess one more month isn't that big of difference. I will only see him one more time about a week before my last treatment and then he will sign me off to my family physician.

Way back in Sept I went to see Dr H to be referred to the plastic surgeon (I chose Dr. Z) for reconstruction. I still don't know what I will do or even if I will do anything. I just want to talk to him and find out what my options are. He sent another letter in February for me and I still hadn't heard anything so I decided to call and find out where my name was on their waiting list. I am sure glad I called as they said they never heard of me and they had no letters from Dr. H!! WTH??? So I called his office and the secretary said yes both letters went and she printed them off and she was going to fax them to Dr. Z. The long and short of it is that they somehow misplaced not one but TWO letters from the same patient and now I have an appointment for June. Hopefully this will give me some leverage to get any surgery dates pushed ahead for me!

One In Eight

One in eight North American women will develop breast cancer at some point in their lives which is the highest rate of breast cancer in the world. Think of your friends and acquaintances - one in eight. Think of your family members, grandmothers, mothers, sisters, nieces, aunts, cousins, one in eight!

Now that I am nearing the end of my treatment and at least past the really icky stuff, I can look back and I know that if I had it to over again, I would. If I had to I wouldn't have to think twice. If you are reading this and just starting on your "journey" through this dreadful disease, I would tell you that you should do whatever it takes. I would say that as awful as chemo and radiation are - it is doable. The reality is that you can fight and win, you may fight and lose but you will not win if you don't fight.

Since my last update, I have seen a visiting oncologist who just checked me over and okayed orders for me to continue with the herceptin. I think I have about 6 or 7 to go and then I am done with that. YAY! This oncologist agreed that the surgeon should have a look at my fluid build up on the mastectomy site. In between times I saw my family doctor and he couldn't think of a reason that the surgeon needed to see it. He was willing to drain it for me right there but as far as he could see there wasn't much to drain. I decided to wait as I was waiting for Dr H to return my call. I ended up getting an appointment notice in the mail instead of a phone call. My doctor had also booked a mammogram for me so I arranged the appointments to be on the same day. Dr H did drain the fluid but it turns out that Dr S was right - I didn't need to see the surgeon at all.

I told him I still haven't heard from Dr Z (the plastic surgeon) but he said to be patient, you know that these things always take a lot of time. Yes this certainly is a waiting game. He said that this would give me lots of time to consider my options. I said the problem with that is that I don't really know what my options are and I just wanted a consult so I can know what I should be thinking about! He thought that sounded reasonable so said he would write another letter for me. Here's hoping I hear something soon.

I also asked him if I needed to stay out of hot tubs since having my lymph nodes removed. He had never heard of that! WTH? Everything I've read on the internet and the literature from the cancer centre say you should avoid them. I wonder where that comes from then since now that is two of my team telling me otherwise. I will be asking my medical oncologist next visit. I think a new one has been hired and I should probably get to see him in March or April.

That same day I ended up just having an ultrasound as I wasn't due for a mammogram for another 6 months. They wanted to take another look at the cysts they saw in August as apparently they were abnormal looking. Everything checked out fine. Whew! It never seems to fail that I get the next appointment in the mail the same day I get home from Saskatoon. My next visit will be March 1 for another echocardiogram. (didn't I just have one???) I guess the last one was December 14 and I have them every 3 months. At least I know that they are looking after me.

Update

My 9 week check up was supposed to be around December 30 but they have yet to replace Dr A so there wasn’t anyone for me to see. When I had my Herceptin treatment on December 17 the nurse told me that she would tentatively book my next appointment in 3 weeks but that as yet there were no orders for me. I went home and called my oncology nurse at the cancer centre and that is when she told me there was no one for me to see but she would talk to one of the oncologists and get them to send in some orders for me. When I had my appointment on Jan 6 again she said there were no orders for next time. This time the clinic did call me to make an appointment for Jan 15 to see an oncologist who is visiting for a month. So I will finally get my blood checked and be able to ask some questions.

I had my echocardiogram (heart scan) on December 14 and my heart is still good. It is at 65% which freaked me out at first but the nurse said they don’t like it to drop below 50 and normal is 55-75%. I don’t know what my very first one was before I started the chemo but when I was done, my heart scan in July showed 64% - I’m up one from then!

I saw the radiation oncologist on January 7 for my 3 month follow up. He said that I am doing great and he will now fade into the background and I won’t have to see him again but I can call him if I need anything. He said I should continue the stretching and my range of motion will improve. He said I can still be in the sun but to wear a light cotton covering and use sunscreen where I had the radiation. Apparently not everyone burns easily after – everyone is different. Now that it is healed I don’t have to keep smearing lotion on it. When I asked him about hot tubs and saunas he told me that was an old wives tale and that I should be able to go into them. I’m really not sure about that as everything I have read anywhere says that it can cause lymph edema. He said your body compensates and creates its own channels of drainage. I will definitely be asking every doctor I see after this what their opinion is on that one. He also said that since the cabins are pressurized on airplanes now, I usually won’t have to wear the compression sleeve to fly.

Things are finally slowing down!

There isn’t much going on for me these days which is a relief after the ordeal of the last 8 months! I go every three weeks to the Nipawin hospital for my Herceptin injection – so far I’ve had 3 of them here and they are going okay. I am usually tired that day and the next so I just come home and take it easy. Other than that it is business as usual. I even went into work for 2 days and helped my coworker bake for the snack program but then I had to go home and have a nap. I still do need that ½ to 1 hour nap a lot of the time. I am going to the gym usually 3 or 4 times a week. Now that the radiation burns are healed the skin is very tight so I lost some of my range of motion again. I am working really hard at getting it back but I have a ways to go. I'm hoping to be back to normal when I see the plastic surgeon but so far there has been no word from him anyway. My fingernails are so close to being back to normal again. The fingertips - especially on my thumbs are still a little sensitive and my tongue still feels a bit strange. I think about 1 more week and I will be able to have a manicure! However my hair is growing sooo slow. It will be at least another month and maybe two before there is enough there to do anything with.

Good bye Dr. A.

I went to Saskatoon yesterday for what was to be my last appointment with Dr. A before he moves to Arkansas - where the winters are warmer ;o( Unfortunately he was sick so I had to see another doctor. This other doctor was okay but he didn’t take as much time to answer my questions and I felt kind of rushed to ask everything. (Dr A is going to be a tough act to follow and I am going to miss him!) He did recommend that I get the H1N1 vaccine and that the risks from getting the virus outweigh any risks from the vaccine. I don’t have to go back to see (whoever I get now) for 9 weeks. So far my heart scans have all been good but I will get another one in Dec. I got another 6 month supply of Tamoxifen which they give me free of charge.

I asked him if the tingly tongue is from the Tamoxifen or the Herceptin. He said neither. It is still from the Taxotere. So after 4 months the Taxotere is still rearing it's ugly head!

I noticed the other day that my toe nails are also starting to come off. (which is also a carry over from the Taxotere) I am hoping that it will be more like my ring and pinky fingers were. Since you don’t use them much, they grew out enough that I could just peel the old one off and it didn’t hurt at all!

My doctor had called on Friday but for some reason the receptionist gave him Murray’s cell phone number which was turned off all week end. I did get to talk to him on that Monday and he told me to try a number of things like calamine lotion, aloe vera cream or I could use Emla cream. Emla is the anesthetic lotion I put on my port before I get chemo so it doesn’t hurt when they punch the needle into it. I thought that was a great idea so I smeared that on as soon as I was done on the phone. Holy mother of god - it stung so much for about 5 minutes until the anesthetic kicked in and it didn’t give relief for very long after that. The next day the doctor’s office called since I was on a waiting list to get an appointment for my annual complete check up and they had a cancellation for that afternoon. I told him that the Emla cream was not a good idea! When he saw it he told me to keep it dry by putting powder on it. I used cornstarch and that is what finally gave me some relief. It cut down on the friction of my arm rubbing against it. After 2 days it started getting itchy so I knew I was on the home stretch. It was extremely itchy for about 3 days and I thought I would go mad. Finally after 11 days I was back to normal. I could wear regular clothes and resume day to day activities.

I have joined the gym and I discovered that am really out of shape from this whole ordeal (what a surprise!). My fingernails are just over halfway there. The top half is still quite brittle and not good for much but I can scratch my itches again. I think I should have them back to normal in 2 or 3 months. My hair is slowly coming in. It is about ½ inch long and not in the color I ordered!! I’m told that sometimes it does change after a few months so there is some hope but I don’t think I will hold my breath. Also there doesn’t seem to be any curl to it yet.

I had my first injection of Herceptin at the Nipawin hospital last week. It only takes half an hour for the infusion but it takes the pharmacy a long time to get it ready. I was there for over 2 hours so it was nice to only have to drive a few blocks home instead of 3 hours. I could relax and take it easy. I still have to go into Saskatoon the week before my next one for blood work and to see the oncologist.

Radiation Burn

By Friday I was in complete agony with this under arm burn. I waited by the phone all day for my doctor to return my call and he never did. Grrr. I got up on Saturday and went to see the doctor on call at the hospital. The nurse put some Flamazine (which they keep in the fridge) on it and some gauze. It was so cold but instant relief. The doctor then prescribed some Flamazine for me to put on it and also told me to take my Tylenol 3’s or to take 1 full dose of Advil and 1 full dose of Tylenol together. The Flamazine feels oh so good but you can only use it once per day but the Advil/Tylenol mix is a pretty good pain reliever. I look forward to the day when I can do my own thing and not worry about what hurts….

On Wednesday I Rang the Bell

At the Saskatoon Cancer Clinic in the radiation department there is a bell on the wall just outside of the waiting room. It is called Taya’s Bell and on it is written:

Ring this bell to honor your last treatment.
Let the sound fill your heart to signify the bravery of your life’s journey.
Taya Rae Sawka
Age 5
Medulloblastoma

Well radiation wasn’t exactly a walk in the park either! I mean it didn’t hurt to get it but the last 3 days were a killer. I have a really bad radiation burn under my arm and the doctor told me on Wednesday that it will peak in about 4 or 5 days. So it is going to get worse before it gets better. I have saline compresses to put on it and I am supposed to leave it open to the air as much as I can. Also I am not supposed to do any vacuuming, carrying groceries or anything that will create friction under my arm. (Aww Darn!) It feels like it is on fire already so I can’t imagine what it will be like on Saturday!

As much as I enjoyed being in the city the last 5 weeks, I am really happy to be home. I will get my next dose of Herceptin at the Nipawin Hospital so I won’t be going into Saskatoon for at least 6 weeks.

Today a very nice friend sent a cleaning lady to my house. It was really nice to have that done since I haven't been here much during the last 5 weeks and before that I was too sick to do much more than the basic cleaning. That was the best present ever - Thank you!

I was very sad on Tuesday when my medical oncologist (Dr A) told me that he is leaving for the US in the next few months. I will miss him.

Halfway There

I am halfway done the radiation treatments. They have been scheduling me late on Monday and early on Friday so that I can spend more time at home. By 8:30 this morning I was all done my treatment and was on the road. Today they did the verification again to make sure that everything is still lined up right. So far the only side effect I have is the tight skin and muscle. When I saw the doctor on Wednesday he said that should go away gradually after I was all done the treatment. I do my stretching exercises faithfully every day and it just seemed like I regressed overnight.

On Wednesday I had my third Herceptin injection. It does make me a little tired – I had to have a nap that day and again today when I got home. It also gives me a sore mouth but nothing like I had with the chemo drugs. This is just a bit like when you burn your tongue – it feels a little uncomfortable but I can still eat everything.

The Tamoxifen is an anti estrogen and it is giving me hot flashes really bad! I spend half the night sweating and the other half shivering. This disrupted sleep may also be why I am so tired in the daytime!

So far 5 of my fingernails have come off completely. The new nails are grown up about ¾ of the way but they are not coming in very nice. The other ¼ starts out as a very thin layer of nail but it becomes brittle and breaks off in little chunks. They are quite tender and catch on everything. Last week I had the bright idea to try gel nails. My dear niece put them on for me. Even though I still can’t use them for a lot of things, it is such a relief to have the covering on them. It makes the simplest things like washing and drying my hands so much easier. For some reason my right thumb nail won’t stay on. It came off the first day and she kindly re-did that one. Well the second time it came off even faster. (It isn’t completely off, just cracked and I have to keep a Band-Aid on it.) Hopefully when I get to see her next week my nail will have grown that much longer and it will have enough to hold the gel in place. My hair is starting to fill in but it seems to be taking forever to grow!

I am really happy to be sleeping in my own bed for the next 4 nights!

Radiation

Well first of all the biopsy came back clean so I was able to start the radiation this week. That was a real relief for me! I had to go in on Tuesday for my verification. This is where they check the positions to make sure that everything is lined up and they go through the motions of what will happen without using the radiation beams. On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I had my first treatments. All the staff in there are amazing and it is a piece of cake really. You just lay there with your arms above your head holding onto some bars and the machines are rotating and whirring all around you. It takes about 10 minutes and you feel nothing. The hardest part is lying completely still on that hard surface. My back is really sore these days and I am not sure if I can take my anti inflammatory pills for that. I guess I will have to ask the doctor or pharmacy if I think of it next time I’m there.

Now I just have 22 more treatments to go. I should be done on September 23. This is probably the worst time for me to be away as everything in my garden is really producing right now.

I also had another bone scan on Tuesday. I don’t have the results yet but the technician did show me the pictures and everything looked the same as the first ones so I think that is also fine.

Vince had his lasik eye surgery on Wednesday and everything seems to be fine there as well. His vision improves every day.

Mammogram and Ultrasound

I had to be at the clinic at 8:30 a.m. and I wasn’t allowed to have anything to eat or drink for 8 to 10 hours before. I got in right away for the abdominal scan and then pretty quickly for the mammogram. Mammograms are awful enough at the best of times but I just had the biopsy two days before that. I told the girl to be gentle with me and she was really good. Unfortunately the radiologist thought he needed more pictures so she had to do it a second time. Then she was having some problems with her films and I ended up getting squashed a total of seven times on the second go around. After that I waited a long time before they finally took me in to do the ultrasound. As soon as she was done the radiologist came in to give me my results. It looks like it is just cysts and calcium deposits. He said it is nothing to worry about unless the biopsy comes back with something as the mammogram doesn’t always show everything. By this time it was 11:30 and I was almost ready to eat my hand. I had made arrangements to meet Val for lunch just two blocks away at Moxies. We had a nice visit and a great lunch.
Now I am just waiting to talk to Dr H on Monday with the biopsy results so I am still not 100% sure but I'm feeling pretty relieved anyway.

New Developments

I did go in on August 5 to get set up for the radiation. It took about 45 minutes all together. It was kind of a waste of the 6 hour round trip to the city for me. They just got me lined up on the machine. I had to lay on my back with my arms grabbing a bar behind my head. There is a place for my elbows to rest on. They gave me two little tattoos that look like little pen marks and that was about it.

I went into the city again yesterday to see the oncologist and today I got my second shot of Herceptin. Last week I happened to find a lump in the other breast so I showed that to Dr. A. He said that it would be very rare for the cancer to come back during treatment but until we know for sure we have to treat it like it has. He sent me for a chest X-ray and was going to set up a mammogram etc. He called me a few hours later and said that he had already spoken to Dr H (my surgeon) and that I was to meet him at the hospital at 9 this morning. It was great of him to fit me in between his surgeries. He did the core needle biopsy and marked it urgent and he asked me to let him know if Dr. A was setting up the mammogram etc because he didn’t want to duplicate anything but definitely wanted to get this done as soon as possible. If there is something there, they will postpone my radiation treatments.

While I was getting the Herceptin the receptionist brought me my appointment schedule. I have to go back in on Friday morning for the abdominal scan (to make sure my liver etc are still clear) and then I will have another mammogram and ultrasound. I still have to go back in on Monday for another bone scan. She tried really hard to get these all on the same day but I am just feeling lucky that she got me in at all on such short notice.

I will be going into the city from Monday to Thursday anyway next week since Vince is getting his lasik surgery. Hopefully this will all turn out to be nothing and I will also get my radiation treatments as planned.

Radiation Consultation

I am on Day 9 and still no ill effects from the Herceptin. It kind of wreaked havoc with my bowels for about a week but that is all. The evil Taxotere is still rearing its ugly head though. I still have a bitter after taste when I eat certain things, especially sweets. My face is still sensitive and my energy isn’t back completely. The worst of it is that I seem to be losing my fingernails. Some of them (especially the thumbs and index fingers) are barely hanging on. I went for a manicure the other day because I couldn’t stand looking at them anymore. They were so dirty looking and I couldn’t get them clean. She covered them up with some nice nail polish so they look good now but they really hurt today and I keep bumping them. It won’t take much to rip them off so I am trying to be so careful but you know how that goes. There will be some very colorful language when it happens because it already is like that when I bump them – it just hurts sooo much! I just need to keep them for a couple of months since the new ones are only coming up about ¼ of an inch. (Yeah right - like that is going to happen!)

My hair is growing! It is so wispy and fine that I can't even really see it unless I turn my head this way and that to catch the light but it's there!

I saw the radiation oncologist on Thursday. (Dr. V) He is very nice, compassionate and easy to talk to. He took the time to ask about our family and what they are doing. He asked where we are from and asked questions about Nipawin. He examined me to make sure that I have enough movement in my arm to be able to lay in the proper position during the radiation treatment. I was all set and ready to get my tattoos and prepped for radiation but this was just a consult to explain it to me and see if I was willing to go through with it. Now I have to go back next Wed for all of that. My appointment is at 2:30 so I can just go in for the day for a change. They said I will likely start on Aug 17 and go for 5 weeks Monday to Fri.

Starting Tamoxifen and Herceptin

I am still feeling the effects of the chemo. This time it took the full three weeks before I could eat much of anything that tasted like it should. There are still some things that leave a bitter after taste. My fingernails are a real mess. They are yellow and curled and look like I am a smoker (which I am not). Some of them are coming unglued from the nail bed. (These are real fingernails not the fake kind). They are very uneven where they attach to my fingers so they are really hard to clean in spite of my best efforts. My eyes still water sometimes but other than that I am pretty much back to normal. (Oh yeah still no hair or eyelashes….)

I saw the oncologist on Tuesday. He gave me a prescription for Tamoxifen which I will be taking for the next 5 years. They give me 6 months at a time. It is one tablet a day and if I pick it up from the cancer clinic I don’t have to pay for them. They will even mail it out for me if I won’t be in the city. He said my heart scan was normal so Wednesday I would be starting the Herceptin. He assured me that it would not be as bad for me as the last 4 months were. I may get a headache or some achy bones until my body adjusts to it but that’s all. I was still nervous when I went in there for the injection on Wednesday. The nurse also said this wouldn’t be so bad. I told her I read some scary stuff on the internet and she said I shouldn’t read the stuff on there. They started me off with a loading dose (which is bigger than I will usually get). That took 1 ½ hours but from now on it is supposed to take only ½ hour. I didn’t have any ill effects while getting it and as of day 3 I haven’t really had any since then yet either. Also no side effects from the Tamoxifen so far. The doctor wants to see me in 3 weeks so I will get my next dose in the city. After that I should be able to get every other one in Nipawin.

The Last One!

I guess I should update everybody on my status. I did have my last chemo treatment on June 30 – a day early because of Canada Day. Again I felt pretty good that day. The Pharmacist said I should take the Benedryl – 2 tablets 4 times a day for a week and that it might make me drowsy. Oh yeah it made me drowsy all right! I slept for 20 -22 hours a day for the next 4 days! I would wake up for the bathroom or to eat a little bit and then I would be back down for a few hours. I couldn’t sit up for more than 10 minutes at a time. Everything hurt. I also started taking the antibiotics he gave me on day 3 and that just upset my stomach so much that I stopped on Saturday. I just couldn’t face taking any more pills. It took me a full day to wake up so Sunday I was finally able to stay awake for most of the day. All that Benedryl (I only lasted 3 days on it) did stop my face from getting the sunburn look although it does still feel a little sensitive. My mouth didn’t get the scalded feeling so far but it is still coated in a white film and nothing tastes or feels like it should. I am really hungry but can’t find anything to eat. Even the savory things taste bitter or have no taste at all and unless it is something very soft and moist it feels like chewing on sawdust. I’m planning all the things I am going to eat in a week or two. Mmmmm Steak, Greek Ribs, BBQ Burgers, Potato Salad, Lettuce Salad from my garden and my new potatoes should be ready by then too!

Another new side effect is that my fingernails are curling. They are turning a yellow orange color and are curving down on the ends. You know this stuff is potent when it can curl your fingernails!

Roxanne was home for 2 days. I didn’t see much of her since I was always sleeping but she did help me out a lot with cooking and cleaning.

I will see the oncologist on July 21 and will probably start the Herceptin the next day. I am hoping and praying that I don’t have any side effects from that. I couldn’t possibly face a whole year of that! July 30 I will see the Radiation Oncologist so I will probably be starting radiation some time in August.

Just one more to go!

June 10 I was back for another dose of Taxotere. I saw the doctor the day before and he gave me some prescriptions to use to combat all my side effects. I have 2 weeks of antibiotics to start taking on day 3 and some Tylenol 3’s for the pain in the joints. He also said I should take Benedryl tablets for the itchy face and neck. He said we could try decreasing the dosage of the Taxotere by 10% but I said I would see how I do with all these new drugs and if it is still bad we can try that next time. They still monitored my blood pressure really close and I had the cold packs on my hands and feet. This time it took about 1 ½ hours to administer the chemo and I came through it all right.

Again I felt pretty good on Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday I was feeling a little achy and started the antibiotics. I still got all the same side effects but mostly they were not as bad as the first time. I had a fever on Sunday and Monday but didn’t get up to 38C so I didn’t have to go to emergency. My mouth was scalded but I was very diligent with the salt water so it also didn’t get as bad. I still can’t eat much because the texture of most things feels like chewing sawdust but today that is getting better. Anything sweet still has a bitter taste though. My face and neck are quite red and itchy but not as bad as before. My face is starting to peel again though. I have a total lack of energy and I still have to sleep quite a lot. Oh well, that is 5 down and just one more to go.

Audrey is here once again to look after me while Murray is away on his big fishing trip.